The Greatest Show on Turf Returns

By now you’ve all heard the good news. The NFL is back! Sure we’re 5 days away from going into default as a nation, but at least we got the greatest show on turf back. As our country descends into destitution, football will be there to remind us that if CEOs and primadona super-stars can reach a financial agreement, the US sure-as-shit better follow suit. I’m talking to you John Boehner, you carrot colored, assclown.

Now that the NFL is back, a whirlwind of trades, acquisitions and cuts have occurred to simply get the game up to speed and make up for lost time. Analysts can finally talk about the game, instead of talking about the monetary one. Rookies can start training with coaches and learn the plays that have alluded them the past 150 plus days.

But the true winners in all this are the fans. Sure we got played for months, but unlike the NBA, the season remains intact and no more of this nonsense for another 10 years (when the current CBA expires). Its back to screaming at the TV, making nachos and pointing to our jerseys when our favorite player does something big. Sunday is once again my favorite day of the week (sorry Jebus, but I pray to a higher power: Bill Belichick).

And for us Fantasy football fanatics, we can breath a sigh of relief. There will be another chance to trash-talk you friends and lose 50 dollars you know you would have blown on beer. Rotowire now occupies our smartphone screens. All is right in the pig-skin universe.

So when I saw this Clay Matthews commercial about “Blowing Up Plays” on Espn last night, I had to share it with y’all:

This just cracks me up and speaks to the awesomeness that is profession FOOTBALL. Just take Matthews, a guy who is basically a viking (probably a third generation Swede that came to the midwest and bulked up on some American corn and steroid filled red-meat) and tear him loose on players/inanimate objects–whatever. It makes for great TV. “You see how that offense is trying to fool us!”